This guy working 2 jobs lost $20K at age 21; now wants advice to better himself

A young guy loses $20k to gambling habits.

Young and dumb is what comes to my mind after reading this Reddit thread, where a guy, probably still in the university or something, lost $20,000 to gambling. The best part is that he wants to quit and better himself, so asked for advice from Redditors. So, I will churn in my bits too.

I just lost $20,000 gambling… I’m 21 with 2 jobs and I don’t know what to do

Hi everyone,

I’m 21 years old and I work two jobs. I’ve never done anything like this before, but today I started gambling. It began with $100, which I lost, and then I tried to win it back. Things spiraled fast — I kept doubling down and chasing my losses.

Before I even realized what was happening, I had lost $20,000. I’m in total shock. I don’t even know how to process it. It feels surreal, like it didn’t even happen… but it did.

I feel sick. I feel ashamed. I don’t know who to talk to, and I’m scared. I worked so hard for that money, and now it’s gone in a day because of one terrible decision.

Please… if anyone’s been through something like this or knows what to do, I really need help. I don’t want to go down this road any further. I want to fix this, get better, and never let this happen again.

Thank you for reading.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Losing $20,000 in a single day is gut-wrenching, and I can feel the weight of your shock, shame, and fear through your words. You’re not alone in this, and the fact that you’re reaching out and want to stop this from happening again is a huge step. I’ve put together 20 reasons why this spiral might’ve happened and practical steps you can take to prevent it in the future. You worked hard for that money, and you can rebuild; this is a setback, not the end.

20 Reasons This Could Have Happened and How to Prevent It

  1. You Were New to Gambling
    You said you’ve never done this before, so you likely didn’t know how risky gambling can be.
    What to Do: Learn about gambling’s risks before ever trying again. Check out sites like the National Council on Problem Gambling (ncpgambling.org) to understand odds and how the house usually wins.
  2. You Tried to Win Back Losses
    After losing $100, you wanted to recover it, which pulled you into bigger bets. This is called chasing losses, and it’s super common.
    What to Do: Set a strict loss limit, like $50 or $100, and promise yourself you’ll stop if you hit it. Write it down and stick to it, no matter what.
  3. You Didn’t Have a Budget
    Without a clear spending limit, your losses snowballed to $20,000.
    What to Do: If you ever gamble again, only use a tiny amount of extra cash you can afford to lose, like 1% of your monthly income. Use cash, not cards, to cap your spending.
  4. Emotions Took Over
    You mentioned feeling sick and ashamed—those emotions probably pushed you to keep betting to “fix” the loss.
    What to Do: Don’t gamble when you’re upset or stressed. If you feel emotional, step away and do something calming, like taking a walk or calling a friend.
  5. You Doubled Down
    You said you kept doubling your bets, maybe thinking you’d recover losses. That strategy often backfires big time.
    What to Do: Stick to small, fixed bets if you gamble. Avoid “doubling down” systems—they’re risky and don’t work long-term.
  6. You Gambled Too Long
    Things “spiraled fast,” which sounds like you were at it for hours without a break.
    What to Do: Set a timer for short sessions, like 30 minutes, and stop when it goes off. Breaks help you think clearly.
  7. You Had Access to Too Much Money
    You lost $20,000, so you must’ve had savings or credit available, which made big bets possible.
    What to Do: Keep gambling money separate in a low-balance account. Lock your savings in an account with withdrawal delays, and never use credit for gambling.
  8. You Felt Alone
    You said you don’t know who to talk to, and shame probably kept you from reaching out while it was happening.
    What to Do: Find someone you trust—a friend, family member, or even a counselor—and tell them what happened. Join a group like Gamblers Anonymous (gamblersanonymous.org) for support.
  9. You Didn’t See Addiction Coming
    Gambling can hook you fast, and you didn’t expect to lose control so quickly.
    What to Do: Learn the signs of gambling addiction, like feeling unable to stop. Take a quiz on the Gamblers Anonymous site and quit if you notice any red flags.
  10. You Might’ve Been Stressed
    Working two jobs is exhausting, and gambling might’ve felt like a way to unwind or escape.
    What to Do: Find healthier ways to relax, like working out, watching a show, or hanging with friends. Make time for these to avoid turning to gambling.
  11. You Thought You Could Win
    You might’ve believed you could outsmart the game or that luck would turn around.
    What to Do: Remind yourself gambling is mostly chance, and the odds favor the house. Focus on facts, not hopes of a big win.
  12. You Didn’t Set a Win Limit
    If you had any wins, you didn’t stop to pocket them, which led to losing everything.
    What to Do: Decide in advance when to quit, like if you double your starting cash. Cash out and leave if you hit that goal.
  13. The Game Encouraged Big Bets
    The gambling setup probably pushed you toward high-stakes bets, speeding up losses.
    What to Do: Stick to low-stakes games if you ever gamble again. Avoid places or apps that pressure you to bet big.
  14. You Might Not Have Money Management Skills
    Losing your hard-earned savings suggests you might not have a strong financial plan yet.
    What to Do: Take a free financial literacy course online (try Khan Academy). Start budgeting to protect your savings and build an emergency fund.
  15. Ads or Social Media Hyped Gambling
    You might’ve seen gambling ads or posts that made it seem fun or easy.
    What to Do: Block gambling ads on your phone or social media. Unfollow accounts that promote betting to reduce temptation.
  16. You Didn’t Use Blocking Tools
    Without restrictions, you could keep gambling unchecked.
    What to Do: Sign up for self-exclusion programs on gambling sites or use apps like BetBlocker to lock yourself out of betting platforms.
  17. You Fell for the Gambler’s Fallacy
    You might’ve thought a win was “due” after losing, which kept you betting.
    What to Do: Know that every bet is random—past losses don’t mean a win is coming. Write this down as a reminder before gambling.
  18. You Were Tired
    Two jobs can leave you drained, and fatigue makes it hard to make good choices.
    What to Do: Only gamble (if ever) when you’re rested and clear-headed. Get enough sleep and avoid betting when you’re worn out.
  19. You Didn’t Ask for Help
    You didn’t have a counselor or advisor to guide you before or during this.
    What to Do: Call the National Problem Gambling Helpline (1-800-522-4700) right now for free support. A financial advisor can also help you recover.
  20. Online Gambling Was Too Fast
    If this was online, the quick pace probably made it easy to lose track of bets.
    What to Do: Avoid online gambling or choose slower games. If you must play, pick platforms with delays between bets to stay in control.

Here are a few responses from Redditors who echoed similar tunes:

First off, don’t play a victim and act helpless. You are in your 20s. Own up to your mistake and learn from it. You are a grown adult now. No one is going to help you. The only one is yourself. Brush it off and move on. Realize how hard it is to pay yourself back 20 grand? You feel the same when some casino takes it from you in 5 hours? It takes most Americans 6 months to make that kind of money. These are called life lessons.

 

It is what it is. Life moves on, everything will work out for you if you stop. Many worse stories out there. Do not continue.

 

Just stop gambling man. You are lucky you made this mistake now and not in 10-15 years when you will hopefully have a lot more to lose.

I understand where you’re coming from. I used to think I could control myself and then I went to Vegas. I was there for a week and thankfully only lost like $800 over the whole time there but I felt stupid even doing that. I at least got about $200 of free booze out of the casino comps though lol. I’d play, down drinks, move on to the next casino and repeat.

I’m normally a very frugal person so I felt kind of disgusted with myself by the end of my time there but hey I guess that’s Vegas for you baby.

 

Man 20k? Don’t ever transfer crypto into one of those sites ever again…. Dumb phone ain’t a bad idea if you can’t stop. You can also ask casinos to shut down your account cause of your problem. Def let your parents know about your problem..

What You Can Do Right Now

  • Reach Out for Help: Call 1-800-522-4700 or visit gamblersanonymous.org to talk to someone who gets it. They’ve helped tons of people in your shoes.
  • Tell Someone You Trust: Share this with a friend or family member. It’s scary, but their support will make a huge difference.
  • Block Gambling Access: Freeze any gambling apps or accounts. Sign up for self-exclusion programs to keep you away from betting sites.
  • Start a Recovery Plan: Meet with a financial counselor to figure out how to rebuild your savings. You’re young, and you can recover from this.
  • Be Kind to Yourself: You made a mistake, but you’re not defined by it. You’re already taking responsibility by asking for help, and that’s huge.

You said you don’t want to go down this road again, and I believe you can stick to that. You’re strong enough to learn from this and come back better. Keep reaching out, whether it’s to helplines, support groups, or even here on Reddit. You’ve got this, and you’re not alone.